That freaking song is constantly reminded me of someone that I loved (or love? I don’t know…) before. Someone who loved me more than I can ever imagine… I imagine doing the things that are mentioned in the song with him. It definitely will be romantic, since I believe that he is a romantic person as well… Silly??? I won’t take it that way… because, what I felt (I feel) was (is) true… Do I still love this person? Ehm… I guess so. But, I don’t think he does… So, I guess just have to wipe the dust… Do I still save my heart for him?
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Simple Love
“I want love to be simple. I want to trust without thinking. I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally. It is easier to love a person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts; and this is how I want to be loved. –JEWEL-“
When will love get as simple as you hope it’d be? Has love ever been that simple? Can you really trust without thinking? When will I experience that simple kind of love? For every time I trust someone without thinking, I always ended up as the hurt ones. Trust some many people and ended up getting hurt, betrayed… I had enough of that. Enough is enough…
But I still want to trust someone without thinking… I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally, to love a person easier by loving the person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts… and yes, this is how I want to be loved…
I know someone that I can love without thinking, someone that I can give my affection and patience generously, someone that I can love unconditionally. I love him with his flaws… I love him as a whole person, not parts… When will he love me this way?
When will love get as simple as you hope it’d be? Has love ever been that simple? Can you really trust without thinking? When will I experience that simple kind of love? For every time I trust someone without thinking, I always ended up as the hurt ones. Trust some many people and ended up getting hurt, betrayed… I had enough of that. Enough is enough…
But I still want to trust someone without thinking… I want to be generous with my affection and patience and love unconditionally, to love a person easier by loving the person with their flaws than to weed through them. I want to love the whole person, not parts… and yes, this is how I want to be loved…
I know someone that I can love without thinking, someone that I can give my affection and patience generously, someone that I can love unconditionally. I love him with his flaws… I love him as a whole person, not parts… When will he love me this way?
Untitled
Climbing each stair of a lifetime seduction
is a long far walk for your love that I’ve abandoned
a very beautiful love that is too good to be true
a very wonderful love that is too easy to turn blue
What is love to be called love, anyway?
when you don’t even know what love means
As love is a remarkable abstract property
that we claim we needed to continue our lives
through eternity
is a long far walk for your love that I’ve abandoned
a very beautiful love that is too good to be true
a very wonderful love that is too easy to turn blue
What is love to be called love, anyway?
when you don’t even know what love means
As love is a remarkable abstract property
that we claim we needed to continue our lives
through eternity
Learnt My Lesson
I don’t really like it when people just talking behind my back. Not literally behind my back, but talking about me without saying it was they’re talking about.
I’ve made mistake, I know that, I don’t really have to hide it, at least to myself. Believe it or not, I think I’ve learned from my mistakes more than I used to. I still need people to tell me what did I do wrong, in case I didn’t realize it or if I think I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s totally okay, as long as they tell me with a little sense of respect. I need people to appreciate what I did, just respect my attempt and effort. At least I’ve tried my best. That’s why I hate it when people criticize me with no respect at all.
I put my all when I did this occasion, even my heart and soul, seem like my every little thing. All went great just fine, at least, cuz no one told me anything, and I felt I did nothing fatally wrong. Until the next day someone just talked about the mistakes they say I made. She knew that it was me because she watched the show, she talked about it in front of me and I can feel her resentment on me. At first I didn’t know that it was me she talked about, until my friend told me about the mistake I’ve made. I thank her for that but I hate the woman that talked about it behind my back.
I was totally broken down at that time, I was almost crying, but luckily I can go all the way throughout that day. Not as good as the day before, far from good, because I got no soul in it. But, hey, it’s over… I learned my lesson and didn’t do it again. No same mistakes, but I was too down to do better. So… another lesson to be learned…
I’ve made mistake, I know that, I don’t really have to hide it, at least to myself. Believe it or not, I think I’ve learned from my mistakes more than I used to. I still need people to tell me what did I do wrong, in case I didn’t realize it or if I think I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s totally okay, as long as they tell me with a little sense of respect. I need people to appreciate what I did, just respect my attempt and effort. At least I’ve tried my best. That’s why I hate it when people criticize me with no respect at all.
I put my all when I did this occasion, even my heart and soul, seem like my every little thing. All went great just fine, at least, cuz no one told me anything, and I felt I did nothing fatally wrong. Until the next day someone just talked about the mistakes they say I made. She knew that it was me because she watched the show, she talked about it in front of me and I can feel her resentment on me. At first I didn’t know that it was me she talked about, until my friend told me about the mistake I’ve made. I thank her for that but I hate the woman that talked about it behind my back.
I was totally broken down at that time, I was almost crying, but luckily I can go all the way throughout that day. Not as good as the day before, far from good, because I got no soul in it. But, hey, it’s over… I learned my lesson and didn’t do it again. No same mistakes, but I was too down to do better. So… another lesson to be learned…
Sekilas Memori
Jumat kemaren dulu, Satriya bilang mo ngobrol nareng gue, masalahnya urgent, gue pikir masalah PSM ma Lucia tentang KPS. Padahal, hari itu juga ada lamaran tempat Mba Dini. Rencananya jem 7, ternyata jem 8. Yo wis, gue bilang ma Satriya jem 8an mungkin gue baru bisa pergi. Ternyata eh, ternyata... Ngaret lagi dong, hampir ampe jem 9. Alhasil, gue tambah BT. Pertama dibikin BT ma SMS Satriya, terus ini... Jadilah. Akhirnya gue bener2 pgn balik ke kost karena Satriya bilang ada yang pengen ketemu. Gue langsung assume kalo itu Nia, walopun ga yakin juga. Ehm, gue lebih kepengen pulang banget karena… suasananya mulai ga enak. Hehehe. Ga enak ke gue doing, seh. Biasalah, gue gituloh… Jadilah gue nekat minta dianter pulang. Eh... ga da yg mao, coba... Mnangislah diriku. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiih... Sumpah, kesel buanget!!! Prasaannya pake plus2, soalnya!!!
Ya sutralah... akhirnya, gue brasil pulang. N ternyata bener... ada Nia.... Wah, senangnya, jadi nangis terharu lagi karena demi ketemu dia gue ampe brantem ma nyokap gue. Tp, tetep bener kata Satriya, ga sia2. Karena gue mang kangen banget ma Nia. Ehm... temen gue yg satu ini lebih dari sekedar temen. Hehehe... in a good sense, she’s more like my sister... Karena dia satu2nya yg bisa memotivasi gue dengan cara yang ga bikin gue risih n bener2 malah terpacu... Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... awas lu, ya, kalo ga balik kemari lagi!!!
Selesai juga acaranya. Kumpul2 keluarga... resepsi... Not really enjoy it, but I pretty much enjoyed it the whole time. Ga ngerti... gue lagi meraa ga nyaman aja brada disitu. Padahal gue pengen banget ngumpul2 gitu. Ooooooooooh... gue tau kenapa... karena disitu ga cuma keluarga yang gue harapkan doang, ada yang laen juga... Tapi, bukannya mereka mengganggu, tapi... ada yang lain aja. Tapi, ehm... salah satunya ganteng.. Boleh digebet tuh.... Hehehe... Namanya... ada deh... Sekarang balik lagi... kemari... Hahahahahahahaha...
Persiapan wisuda belom kelar, neh... Belom cari make up, belom foto... ahahahahahahah... Malesnya... Maksud gue... Duh... males, d... Hehehehehe... Kayanya bakalan make yang deket rumah Budhe itu aja... Bagus, soalnya..> J
Ya sutralah... akhirnya, gue brasil pulang. N ternyata bener... ada Nia.... Wah, senangnya, jadi nangis terharu lagi karena demi ketemu dia gue ampe brantem ma nyokap gue. Tp, tetep bener kata Satriya, ga sia2. Karena gue mang kangen banget ma Nia. Ehm... temen gue yg satu ini lebih dari sekedar temen. Hehehe... in a good sense, she’s more like my sister... Karena dia satu2nya yg bisa memotivasi gue dengan cara yang ga bikin gue risih n bener2 malah terpacu... Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... awas lu, ya, kalo ga balik kemari lagi!!!
Selesai juga acaranya. Kumpul2 keluarga... resepsi... Not really enjoy it, but I pretty much enjoyed it the whole time. Ga ngerti... gue lagi meraa ga nyaman aja brada disitu. Padahal gue pengen banget ngumpul2 gitu. Ooooooooooh... gue tau kenapa... karena disitu ga cuma keluarga yang gue harapkan doang, ada yang laen juga... Tapi, bukannya mereka mengganggu, tapi... ada yang lain aja. Tapi, ehm... salah satunya ganteng.. Boleh digebet tuh.... Hehehe... Namanya... ada deh... Sekarang balik lagi... kemari... Hahahahahahahaha...
Persiapan wisuda belom kelar, neh... Belom cari make up, belom foto... ahahahahahahah... Malesnya... Maksud gue... Duh... males, d... Hehehehehe... Kayanya bakalan make yang deket rumah Budhe itu aja... Bagus, soalnya..> J
What's Inside A Broken Heart
What’s inside a broken heart for sure? Regret? Sadness? Anger? Devastation? Hope??? Why do our hearts break, anyway? Lots of answers for that, but, do we ever find the right perfect answers? Find the perfect answers while there is nothing in the world that is perfect. What a life to have?! What a broken heart to mend.
Have my heart been broken? For all I can remember is broken every man’s heart who was (or is???) willing to give their whole life to me. What kind a fool I am? The unthankful person. But how can you take someone’s heart when you know you won’t give him something in return and eventually break the heart? Some might say, at least give some respect! I did, I always do give them some respect, in my kind of ways. If they wanted me to give respect their way by taking their hearts and break it later, well, I’d rather not…
Maybe I am mean, careless, ignorant, or whatever conclude that I’m a freaking crazy bitch, but… I don’t care. For that is me, and my thought, they can tell me if they don’ t like it, but never expect any changes soon or ever. I’ll change if I want to… if I think it is the best. I live my life for me… and I realize that I cannot please everybody at the same time…
Have my heart been broken? For all I can remember is broken every man’s heart who was (or is???) willing to give their whole life to me. What kind a fool I am? The unthankful person. But how can you take someone’s heart when you know you won’t give him something in return and eventually break the heart? Some might say, at least give some respect! I did, I always do give them some respect, in my kind of ways. If they wanted me to give respect their way by taking their hearts and break it later, well, I’d rather not…
Maybe I am mean, careless, ignorant, or whatever conclude that I’m a freaking crazy bitch, but… I don’t care. For that is me, and my thought, they can tell me if they don’ t like it, but never expect any changes soon or ever. I’ll change if I want to… if I think it is the best. I live my life for me… and I realize that I cannot please everybody at the same time…
I Wonder
I wonder… how hard it is to open your heart for someone new? I keep telling myself that how can you love someone when you still in love when someone else? But, is it really love that you feel for that someone else? Or is it just curiosity to make him my man, with all those sweet words of wisdom that he’s been given me? Never met him, but he’s got my heart, and a promise, though, a say, I might say that way, if he turned 30 with no one beside him, then, it’ll be me… I’m willing to wait for that, though, since for me, he’s the perfect man, with all the flaws he has, that I’m looking for… Is he?
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