I Need Myself Some Time Off

Gosh!I thought getting a raise will be something that I'd be happy about,but no!!!I feel more pressure these days.Too much of anything!The kids will perform for 2 sequence weekends.So,double preparation,double too much pressure from people.Is my best not enough?Do I have to give my all to this?Am I willing to?I just need to be let go off the pressure from anyone.I need vacation!!!Some days off at work time...

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Gosh!!!

Do I have to be a bitch everytime???

Good Lord...

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The Lake House

I just watched the Lake House (from the book Il Mare), Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves played it. I thought it was just another drama with impossible story line. How come anybody, talk to each other at different timeline, different year?Since I’m in the stressful time these days, so I decided to rent some movies that came up to my mind. One of them was the Lake House… So, I watched it, and hey… I really think it was romantic. I like the Chicago walking together at the same date and different year, and at the end of the day, she found the writings on the wall saying that it was a great time to walk her there…It was a happy ending story after they twisted it. I thought he was the one in the car accident, but nope… he waited and they were together at last! I wonder do they finally eat at Il Mare…Will that moment be really happening in the reality?I wonder how it will be if it was happening to me…Well, if the man is like Keanu… I’ll be darn glad… who wouldn’t?I hope I can find MY Keanu soon enough.Remember when someone said, be careful of what you wish for, because it might come true?For all this time, I always pray to God, so I can have a boyfriend who will last until he becomes my husband, and we live together forever. I never want to have a boyfriend for the sake of a boyfriend. I want a love that will last. I don’t want to love my best friend, I mean… to have a relation more than friends and such. For the last point, someone that I thought or think I’m in love with, once said that when you break up with your boyfriend then you lost one of your best friend. So, is it possible to love your best friend without ruin the friendship itself? Well, lately I kinda think that it’s actually a possible thing to do. If your friendship ends at the end, then he’s not your real best friend in any way. Just think simple… simple, but hurting. Well, I don’t know… I’m not quite sure myself.Have I tried to love my best friend in the other way? Nope, I’m just too afraid to take the risk.Have I tried to love anyone? Yes… but, I could not love them the way I they said they loved me. I want to love someone in a whole not by parts, and I haven’t find one so far. Maybe I have, but, I don’t think he feels the same… at all. It saddens me. But, hey, what can I do? Well, I might be able to do something, but have no courage at all. I mean, I’m just too afraid to try…I never find any comfort to try… maybe that’s a start…So, for you out there… who thinks you can love me… please… comfort me… encourage me to try…